Tribe: A Dedication

**I was up early writing this post today. Wasn’t sure if I wanted to release it. Some events just transpired and it was the confirmation I needed to post it. Man, I’m so grateful for the people in my life. My TRIBE. Y’all always have my back and I hope that I uplift and support you all like a good bra as well. Please enjoy.**

Even though this blog is on newborn status, it’s something that I have been carrying for years now. The people in my life who have stuck around with me through my intense moments, loved me through those hard times, celebrated with me in every triumph and accomplishment, have deposited seeds that are blooming into what you are witnessing today. My TRIBE has pushed me to be greater. They have witnessed growth that some people think came over night. Listen, your girl was a MESS. Quiet as it’s kept, I still can be a little bit on occasion.

I am probably one of the most private people you could ever meet (Sorry to this man to all the new people who have come into my life). I’m NOT an open book like at all. I have mastered the art of giving you just enough so you think you know me. Like all people, I have layers. Scars. And the thing about it is, I want people to know me. I want people to understand me. I want to be transparent, but past situations tell me that I can’t be that way. I have to remain guarded. “Above ALL else, guard your heart”, right? So me only giving people a portion is me actually following scripture. That’s what I like to believe. I’m just doing what Your word says Lord *looks up to the heavens* But really, I use it as a defense mechanism. I use it to keep me safe from the potential of being hurt. Letting people in isn’t the easiest thing you know.

I value relationships. Any real connection I make with a person, I always have the intent that this is going to be permanent. We will be friends forever. But that’s not reality and that’s the hardest part for me. Learning to let go when a thing has come to an end. How many of us have continued to breathe life into a situation that was DOA? We just doing all types of CPR and chest compressions. Some of us even pulled out the defibrillator. Looking crazy trying to shock life back into a dead relationship. Everybody else sees that it’s not worth resuscitating, but we already put on our gear and we’re on the Give Life Mission. The world is screaming “Move on! Let it go!” And we’re like, ” I think there’s a good week left in this thing. I’m going to give it another try.” Whew Chile…the ghetto. But it’s REAL!

I’m so grateful for the people that God has placed in my life. The people who allow me to be me. Who accept me for ALL that I am. They don’t try to change, or nitpick. They were patient in my layer peeling process and stayed after seeing the good, the bad and the unattractive. They let me know that I was safe with them and felt safe enough to be themselves with me. Safety is important in any relationship. We have weathered storms and come out on top together. These people have remained consistent in what they say and do. Their lives reflect their words. They are not just sayers, they are doers. And you can only be around people like that for so long before that kind of energy rubs off on you. These people have pushed me to be the best version of myself that THEY knew I could be. And not only do I accept their words of wisdom and encouragement, but because of the bond we have built they allow me to speak life into them as well. That’s what I believe true friendships/relationships should be. A constant pouring in and pouring out for both parties. A balanced give and take. And please don’t misconstrue what I’m saying here. I’m not finding my happiness in people. We all know that starts within. What I’m saying is that you need people. No matter what society would like us to believe, no man is an island. No one has made it to the top alone, no one has made it out of depression alone. I can go on and on. We do need each other.

I could sit here and name names and talk about how each person in my TRIBE has helped shape me, helped me to unlearn bad habits and learn healthier ways of living. I mean I have the time, but I know people don’t have the attention span to read all of that. Each person would literally need their own post. Just know that I love each and every one of you. Even though I showed up late to the party, you didn’t make me feel bad about it. You championed me on. Helped me pick out outfits (that’s for you Prell). Helped me with my hair and makeup. You waited for me to finish getting ready when I said five minutes twenty minutes ago. Your love and support mean the world to me. And hopefully I will be throwing the next party for one of you. I promise to be on time to that one 😉 Thank you to my TRIBE.

Also, a special thank you to Kelle’ Avent! You spoke to me five or six years ago at NCLM’s old location about starting a blog. I didn’t think I could do it. And I didn’t want to do it because I felt like I had nothing to say. Well here I am: 2020, pandemic in full effect, FINALLY starting what God told me to do years ago. I have found my voice.